Interesting facts:
What I learnt about myself:
If I don’t find a student job in IT, let’s say until December, which is connected with Data Science I will for sure get a “money” job - that is anything (let it be a cashier or a waiter etc.). But I heavily consider getting student job now so as to cover part of my living costs.
Since I had some free time I went to a few shops within walking distance and asked for a student job.
And… It was one of the hardest thing I have done recently. I simply hesitated so much to ask. My heartrate got up. Altogether I went to five places, and before going to each one of them I would stand for 15 minutes making myself to do it.
Why? Unfortunately, even though on the intelectuall level I knew that my self-worth is high and is indepedent from anything, on the emotional level, a vision of someone rejecting me and especially thinking I’m stupid (to ask for a student job in such a place without knowing Danish) was still paralysing.
That’s funny, because when I was only 15, during one of the conferences, I simply got hold of the CEO of one of the biggest fintech in Poland and told him about me and asked for some advice. He told me I should send them my CV - which I didn’t do, I don’t remember why. But I still maintain that - I have attended many conferences where I would talk with admirable people, I have given various presentations at various events - and I haven’t felt so stressed as when I stood in this shop.
I think all can agree asking the CEO when he is almost quitting the building while being 15 is much challenging that when being 20 asking for a job in a normal supermarket.
So what went wrong? Have my perception somehow changed over the time?
But I have made a really nice observation - once I told myself that for 100% (without a doubt) anyone I would ask (and people around) would think indeed I was stupid, but stress level dropped drastically.
I think it conforms that most people (including people) fear of uncertainty on it’s own - I guess it’s because once something is certain, then it’s much easier to somehow accept that.
The second one nice observation is, also known, that I create so many assumptions what other people will think, say or do.